The mind is everything. What you think you become.

Buddha #

Running beautifully fast on modern hardware is somewhere between I've never been to jail and I shower daily on the list of human accomplishment.

phil@philwelch.net, posting on Slashdot #

I'm sorry, I smelled crazy in here and I thought it was you.

Jack on 30 Rock #

Every saint has a past and every sinner has a future.

Oscar Wilde #

I believe that when IQ is aggregated it follows ohms law.

MichaelSmith, posting on Slashdot #

With so many of even the larger [near-earth asteroids] remaining undiscovered, the most likely warning today would be zero -- the first indication of a collision would be the flash of light and the shaking of the ground as it hit.

From http://impact.arc.nasa.gov/intro_faq.cfm, allaying the fears of the American public #

Stallman is grub, secretely. He inhabits the first 512 bytes of every harddisk.

PhrkOnLsh #

It is like converting a factory to produce next year's cars instead of this year's cars, but while continuing to produce this year's cars at full capacity.

Andrew Tannenbaum, on backwards compatibility #

[The naming consultant] started asking us questions like How does this thing make you feel? (Excited!) What else makes you feel that way? (Java!) We ended up with a board covered with essentially random words.

James Gosling, on naming the Java programming language #

And this was back in the Jurassic Period, where the computer actually had to dial all 2.6 million phone numbers.

Andrew Tannenbaum, on early war dialing #

I disapprove of what you say, but I will defend to the death your right to say it.

Evelyn Beatrice Hall, frequently mis-attributed to Voltaire #

Perl – The only language that looks the same before and after RSA encryption.

Keith Bostic #

(11:45:23 PM) wt8008: what is in japan?

(11:45:31 PM) xiong_chiamiov: tentacles

(11:45:35 PM) xiong_chiamiov: and school girls

(11:45:46 PM) xiong_chiamiov: and an overflow of cute things

seen in #cplug #

(09:21:16 PM) meoblast001: why can't teenagers figure out computers

seen in #gnu #

Beauty of style and harmony and grace and good rhythm depend on simplicity

Plato #

Say yes to everything. I have a lot of trouble saying no, to an pathological degree -- whether to projects or to interviews or to friends. As a result, I attempt a lot and even if most of it fails, I've still done something.

Aaron Swartz #

Focused, hard work is the real key to success. Keep your eyes on the goal, and just keep taking the next step towards completing it.

John Carmack #

It makes one yearn for the relative simplicity of kernel mode.

Andrew Tannenbaum, on Win32 #

Wow, I get to eat the pop tarts! I love them. Think I'll have one right now.......

~Mom the Merry

(06:15:50 PM) wu-wei: At the 12 year anniversary, we can drink a nice 12 yr. scotch out of those plastic cups...

(06:45:06 PM) Elx: will there be 12 year old root beer?

seen in #nblug #

"The consequences of our actions are always so complicated, so diverse, that predicting the future is a very difficult business indeed."

Dumbledore, J. K. Rowling #

It's all way literary.

Shaenon Garrity #

I am a part of all that I have met.

Alfred Tennyson #

(10:37:16 PM) icco: I WANT TO GO TO SLEEP I DON'T WANNA BE IN THE CSL ANYMORE

seen in #cplug #

Take this advice from a professional software developer: If at first you don't succeed, *document*. To a painstaking detail. It forces to formalize the mental picture of the intended solution, which is often fuzzier than one thinks.

Clipka, posting in povray.binaries.images #

You think your pain and your heartbreak are unprecedented in the history of the world, but then you read. It was books that taught me that the things that tormented me most were the very things that connected me with all the people who were alive, or who had ever been alive.

James Baldwin #

(16:40:03) icco: hmmm

(16:40:13) DatOnePhu: i didnt break it >_<

seen in #blugoo #

Films in which the director can point the camera and then go out for coffee while the actors recite their lines (such as love stories) can use long runs of P-frames and B-frames, which use far less storage than I-frames. From a disk-efficiency point of view, a company running a multimedia service should therefore try to get as many women customers as possible.

Andrew Tanenbaum, on video encoding #

May all your stories be glad ones, and your roads be smooth and short.

Kvothe in Patrick Rothfuss's "The Name of the Wind" #

Department of Redundancy Department is redundant!

Captain Obvious #

Google is living a few years in the future and sends the rest of us messages.

Doug Cutting, Hadoop founder #

As they say, mechanical engineers build weapons, civil engineers build targets...

jamesh, posting on slashdot #

We have drunk from the Well of Knowledge for many years. It’s now time to return something to that well.

Dave Packard #

You should never need a yardstick to do programming.

Taylor Arnicar #

I love French wine, like I love the French language. I have sampled every language, French is my favourite - fantastic language, especially to curse with. Nom de Dieu de putain de bordel de merde de saloperie de connard d'enculé de ta mère! You see, it's like wiping your ass with silk, I love it.

The Merovingian from The Matrix #

On Sat, Aug 16, 2008 at 10:09 AM, Mark Gius wrote:

> Officially shotgunning Subversion.

On Sat, 2008-08-16 at 11:20 -0700, Tanya Luthin wrote:

> i dont know what you're saying Mark.

Mark Gius wrote:

> It's mine. You can't have it.

If cats looked like frogs, we'd realize what nasty, cruel little bastards they are.

Terry Pratchett, Lords and Ladies #

The most interesting thing you can do as a technical person is to build tools that people use to help their work.

Larry Page #

Success is going from failure to failure with no loss of enthusiasm.

Winston Churchill #

No man's knowledge can go beyond his experience.

John Locke #

In practice, [natural catastrophes] do not happen very often, which is why many people do not bother with backups. These people also tend not to have fire insurance on their houses for the same reason.

Andrew Tanenbaum, _Modern Operating Systems_ #

Your potential, the absolute best you’re capable of—that’s the metric to measure yourself against. Your standards are. Winning is not enough. People can get lucky and win. People can be assholes and win. Anyone can win. But not everyone is the best possible version of themselves.

Ryan Holiday #

It always takes longer than you expect, even when you take into account Hofstadter's Law.

Hofstadter's Law #

The best revenge is massive success.

Frank Sinatra #

(10/13/2008 12:04:21 AM) BrokenPipe: rawr

(12:04:21 AM) ***nerfle squishes BrokenPipe

seen in #cplug #

It is practically impossible to teach good programming style to students that have had prior exposure to BASIC. As potential programmers, they are mentally mutilated beyond hope of regeneration.

E. W. Dijkstra #

The wisest person

Trusts the process,

Without seeking to control;

Takes everything as it comes,

Lives not to achieve or possess,

But simply to be

All he or she can be

In harmony with Tao.

Tao Te Ching #

The pessimist complains about the wind; The optimist expects it to change; The realist adjusts the sails.

William Ward #

I'm a particularly big fan of the randomly occuring

tabspacespacespacetabtabspace indentation. It makes me go all warm inside.

Peter Hutterer on the Xorg development mailing list #

For me art is a kind of food, a food for the spirit.

Richard Tuttle #

(10:04:35 PM) tuxdev: C++ = the language I use to get things done. Python = the language I trust other people not to muck things up

seen in #cplug #

poodyp: what's a page doing in a nonpaged area and who faulted it?

seen in #cplug #

A hundred times every day I remind myself that my inner and outer life are based on the labors of other men, living and dead, and that I must exert myself in order to give in the same measure as I have received and am still receiving.

Albert Einstein #

The Details are not the Details. They make the design.

Charles Eames #

[ISO 9660] Years begin to count at 1900, which means that CD-ROMs will suffer from a Y2156 problem because the year following 2155 will be 1900. This problem could have been delayed by defining the origin time to be 1988 (the year the standard was adopted). Had that been done, the problem would have been postponed until 2244. Every 88 extra years helps.

Andrew Tanenbaum, _Modern Operating Systems_ #

If the license says Licensee hereby irrevocably grants to licensor the right to kill licensee's mother and claim her inheritance, licensor may have some trouble convincing the courts when he comes to collect, despite licensee's agreeing to the license.

Andrew Tannenbaum, on end-user license agreements #

(09:38:36 PM) ***JonathanThompson meows

(09:41:21 PM) ***Hodapp stumbles in with eyes half-closed, dumps cat food in bowl, and falls back into bed

seen in #haiku #

(10:40:08 PM) sberling entered the room.

(10:42:36 PM) DanaG entered the room.

(10:42:48 PM) sberling left the room.

(10:44:18 PM) xiong_chiamiov: now, DanaG, see what you did?

seen in #cplug #

To live among friends is the primary essential of happiness.

Lord Kelvin #

The life of a Japanese cosplayer at Comike possesses strange similarities to that of the free range chicken.

Shirt Guy Dom #

(05:22:04 PM) Lu_Mac: so much for tax dollars

(05:22:26 PM) Lu_Mac: F22s should be like the bus system

(05:22:39 PM) Lu_Mac: we should be able to fly in them for $75 cents

seen in #cg-char #

Over a long period of time, if you persist and beleive in it, your world opens up to you. And sometimes that takes an entire lifetime.

Nathan Oliveira #

For example, using PHP to access a MySQL database is a common subject for print and on-line articles. Perhaps combining those two technologies on an Esperanto-speaking giant robot that shoots laser beams out of its eyes?

From the _Linux Journal_ article submission guidelines #

We assume the operating system is written in C, the usual choice for all real operating systems.

Andrew Tanenbaum, apparently expressing his definition of a real operating system #

XML is like violence – if it doesn’t solve your problems, you are not using enough of it.

Unknown #

The most dangerous thing you can say is, We’ve always done it this way.

Grace Hopper #

All men dream, but not equally. Those who dream by night in the dusty recesses of their minds, wake in the day to find that it was vanity: but the dreamers of the day are dangerous men, for they may act on their dreams with open eyes, to make them possible.

T. E. Lawrence #

nwelch: well there is always tomorrow

shrish: usually

Strange, I don't remember suffering from memory loss.

seen in somebody's .sig #

We'd have to make some fake entries in the database, and the DBA will get upset. We'd have to take him to lunch when he found out, and even then he'd still be upset. Hist job is hard enough as it is.

Michael C. Feathers, _Working Effectively with Legacy Code_ #

After the germ political incident, the situation rapidly devolved into germ warfare.

I had three chairs in my house; one for solitude, two for friendship, three for society.

Henry David Thoreau #

A person who chases two rabbits catches neither.

Confucius #

AMD IS INVESTIGATING how its chips are being used to build supercomputers and rockets in the nation which is so democratic that it doesn't even bother counting votes.

theinquirer.net #

In some circles, this approach is known as passing the buck.

Andrew Tannenbaum, memory management under POSIX #

OMG THERE'S A QUOTE FROM ME TALKING ABOUT CHUPACABRAS IN YOUR SIGNATURE

Tanya Luthin #

(10:22:54 PM) Contre: alcohol the cause of and the solution to all of life's problems

seen in #cplug #

I don't go to college for the life experience. I go for the degree. If socialization was the goal, I'd do it without spending thousands of dollars a semester.

CSMatt, posting on Slashdot #

(12:57:00 PM) [CC]bLinK: why does fan noise make him go insane

(12:57:26 PM) xiong_chiamiov: he's already insane

seen in #cplug #

I think it is important to grow up seeing beautiful things so that you can develop that sense of beauty, and comfortable space.

Marie Kondo #

Debugging is twice as hard as writing the code in the first place. Therefore, if you write the code as cleverly as possible, you are, by definition, not smart enough to debug it.

Brian Kernighan #

TCP/IP fingerprinting (for OS scan) requires root privileges. Sorry, dude.

nmap #

The best thing one can do when it's raining is to let it rain.

Henry Wadsworth Longfellow #

(11:12:46 PM) afishionado: gimme an hour to clean it up so you can use it w/o wanting to die

There's no Nature without Nat

--Some scoutmaster

Cliff: it's way too hot to be alive right now

seen in #cplug #

(10:52:08 PM) BrokenPipe: to beer or not to beer

(10:52:16 PM) trainman419: beer!

(10:52:27 PM) trainman419: why is that even a question?

(10:52:41 PM) BrokenPipe: I've lareyd had 4

seen in #cplug #

/*

* We want to show the blist early in the init process so the

* user feels warm and fuzzy (not cold and prickley).

*/

from the Pidgin source code #

Crackers are not limited to California.

Andrew Tannenbaum, being profound #

(09:03:33 PM) trainman419: no more rum :(

(09:07:08 PM) trainman419: which way is up?

(09:17:51 PM) trainman419: why is all the rum gone?

seen in #cplug #

I guess this means i have to read every EULA from now on to look for and it's totally allright if the US government scoops out your breain and keeps it in a tupperware jar, just click here.

Mark Orr, responding to a Skin Horse cartoon #

xiong_chiamiov: I find that most environmentalists need a lecture in premature optimization

seen in #cplug #

The constant happiness is curiosity.

Alice Munro #

When you want to know how things really work, study them when they’re coming apart.

William Gibson #

(12:24:00 PM) ***aktai needs to learn differential equations in 40 minutes

seen in #cplug #

If things really do go wrong, your driver may find itself having to reset or perform other acts of violence against one of its devices.

Linux Device Drivers, Third Edition #

(08:07:11 PM) trainman419: hey look: I can watch sesame street on hulu!

(08:07:23 PM) Urban[0]: ...

seen in #cplug #

(08:07:55 PM) xiong_chiamiov: Contre: you're complaining about nerds... in a linux user group irc channel

seen in #cplug #

Be curious. Read widely. Try new things. I think a lot of what people call intelligence just boils down to curiosity.

Aaron Swartz #

> 600 miles or about one-fifth the length of the United States

Or, to clarify, about 236417 Volkswagen Beetles in length.

seen in slashdot #

/* down here is where gtkconvwin.c ought to start. except they share like every freaking function,

* and touch each others' private members all day long */

from the Pidgin source code #

No man’s knowledge can go beyond his experience.

John Locke #

poodyp_: I want to go to japan and bring back the cellular network

seen in #cplug #

(03:07:10 PM) lsem: JonathanThompson: you're actually on a roll here, aren't you? :)

(03:07:21 PM) JonathanThompson: Nah, just a muffin :P

(03:07:30 PM) lsem: Sticky bun?

(03:07:32 PM) mmadia: he's definitely on *something* :P

(03:07:42 PM) JonathanThompson: Hi on life!

(03:07:47 PM) ***JonathanThompson says hi to everyone

seen in #haiku #

I get up. I walk. I fall down. Meanwhile, I keep dancing.

Daniel Hillel #

xiong_chiamiov: so yeah, in our fictional hellsing movie, batman-guy is going to play alucard, because of that movie

seen in #cplug #

(09:54:38 PM) Nekona: joinnnnn the kona

(09:55:51 PM) trainman419: the power is strong in you... I may not be able to resist

(09:57:29 PM) poodyp: jedi mind tricks do not work on me

(09:57:37 PM) poodyp: ooooonly money

seen in #cplug #

They're great! They're like sex except I'm having them.

Fry from Futurama #

(02:24:30 AM) ChaosArbiter entered the room.

(02:24:39 AM) wtracy: yay! more friends!

(02:24:44 AM) ChaosArbiter: no

(02:24:45 AM) ChaosArbiter left the room (quit: Client Quit).

seen in #cplug #

You cannot predict the future.

I knew you were going to say that.

Be prepared to witness one of the most practical uses of pointers (for all of those new C programmers who insist that pointers are useless, I smite you).

Tim Carstens, http://www.tcpdump.org/pcap.htm #

(07:19:11 PM) wtracy: ah, my sister has found me

(07:19:12 PM) wtracy: [19:18:22] annie_tracy: Wilmerhelm!!! It's U!!!! :)

seen in #cplug #

Did you run out of Warren Buffet slashfic?

(06:17:43 PM) Ozymandius: So much file sharing

(06:17:53 PM) Ozymandius: Biggest bathroom ever

(06:17:55 PM) Ozymandius: And jumprope

(06:18:09 PM) Ozymandius: And the battle of the blue sapphire!

(06:18:15 PM) Ozymandius: And the pretzel damage

(06:19:14 PM) superseth: yes

seen in #cplug #

Given a signal with a 2-Hz bandwagon, the Nyquil frequency must be 1-Hz to avoid aliening of the furrier transformer.

phdcomics.com #

Some people talk about white-hat hackers to mean the good guys and black-hat hackers to mean the bad guys, but in our experience most hackers stay indoors all the time and do not wear hats, so you cannot distinguish them by their millinery.

Andrew Tannenbaum, on computer professionals #

On two occasions I have been asked, 'Pray, Mr. Babbage, if you put into the machine wrong figures, will the right answers come out?' I am not able rightly to apprehend the kind of confusion of ideas that could provoke such a question.

Charles Babbage #

There are no problems which cannot be solved by judicious use of high explosives.

British commando, circa WWII #

Oh, I get it. It's a Blow-Job joke.

shirsh #

Action is the foundational key to all success.

Pablo Picasso #

(09:14:17 PM) wtracy: wtracy 2008! :-D

(09:14:49 PM) eruantien: O_o

seen in #cplug #

In Fig. 3.18 we define two local variables, four and twenty (no jokes about blackbirds, please).

Jeffrey D. Ullman, _Elements of ML Programming_ #

Less, but better.

Dieter Rams #

(10:29:28 PM) Shinies: I hate this whole town

(10:29:34 PM) Urban[0]: Shinies: triple rock on

seen in #cplug #

(05:43:00 PM) MarkTraceur: You're both wrong

(05:43:15 PM) Hyperlisk: NO U

(05:43:33 PM) MarkTraceur: Oh, sorry

(05:43:37 PM) MarkTraceur: Yo're both wrong

seen in #cplug #

(02:18:17 PM) mgius: let's write a story together

(02:18:30 PM) mgius: The fox and the hare were running through the woods.

(02:18:49 PM) Urban[2]: The fox ate the hare. End of story.

(02:19:02 PM) Urban[2]: that is a best seller right there.

seen in #cplug #

They spoke very little of their mutual feeling; pretty phrases and warm expressions being probably unnecessary between such tried friends.

Thomas Hardy #

A human being should be able to change a diaper, plan an invasion, butcher a hog, conn a ship, design a building, write a sonnet, balance accounts, build a wall, set a bone, comfort the dying, take orders, give orders, cooperate, act alone, solve equations, analyze a new problem, pitch manure, program a computer, cook a tasty meal, fight efficiently, and die gallantly. Specialization is for insects.

Robert A. Heinlein from The Notebook of Lazarus Long #

Why do you want to control me? Like, I want the world to be better! All I want is positive! All I want is dopeness! Why would you want to control that?

Kanye West #

Life is like topography, Hobbes. There are summits of happiness and success, flat stretches of boring routine and valleys of frustration and failure.

Bill Watterson #

Keeping up the tradition of X development not to impose policy much less taste; *that does not mean you should be tasteless!*

topic for #xorg-devel #

Skipping impact analysis doesn't change the size of the task. It just turns the size into a surprise. Software surprises are rarely good news.

Karl Weigers, _Software Requirements_ #

I'm Sorry. We're going to make a bit of scene.

Spike Spiegel #

And when it all comes crashing down, who will you be?

Miles Away #

There are no more modules remaining in CVS, but if you have to do something there, consult the ancient scrolls.

From the X.org developer documentation #

Escape spaces in Erlang magic to avoid misidentifications, particularly PostScript files produced on Tuesdays

changelog for libmagic1 #

Only through open sources, open standards, human-readable formats and their independencies, might they survive this fleeting age of self-destructing informatics.

-― Devine Lu Linvega

'Hope' is the thing with feathers

That perches in the soul

And sings the tune without the words

And never stops-at all.

Emily Dickinson #

Even when the Detroit Lions get set to play the Pittsburgh Steelers they go into the game knowing that on any given Sunday they can come away with a win. If you’re trying to get into a girl’s pants and go in knowing that on any given Sunday you might actually get some, I guarantee that at the very least you will get more notches in your belt than the Lions get wins.

COED Magazine #

Ahh, Valentine's Day, when young hearts and minds yearn for foam based mayhem.

Deimos #

Whether he is an artist or not, the photographer is a joyous sensualist, for the simple reason that the eye traffics in feelings, not in thoughts.

Walker Evans #

Note that placing GAS in 16-bit mode does not mean that the resulting code will necessarily run on a 16-bit pre-80386 processor. At the moment this would be rather difficult, because GAS currently supports only 32-bit addressing modes. So you can write code that runs on 16-bit processors, but only if that code never references memory.

From the ever helpful manual for GAS, the Gnu Assembler #

Guns don't kill people, catchphrases kill people.

jwo7777777, posting on Slashdot #

When you create, you get a little endorphins buzz. Why do you think Einstein looked like that?

Robin Williams #

(01:49:11 PM) poodyp: you all suck

(01:49:15 PM) poodyp: er

(01:49:17 PM) poodyp: hi

(01:49:28 PM) poodyp: typo

seen in #cplug #

PEDESTRIANS ARE EXPENDABLE AND TROUBLESOME

Hailey Robison #

Officially, NTSC stands for National Television Standards Committee, but the poor way color was hacked into the standard with color television was invented has led to the industry joke that it really stands for Never Twice the Same Color.

Andrew Tanenbaum, Modern Operating Systems #

Eight bytes walk into a bar. The bartender asks, 'Can I get you anything?' 'Yeah,' reply the bytes. 'Make us a double.'

Aldrin #

Creativity is a function of the people, not the tools.

Rands #

Even in the presence of others he was completely alone.

Robert Pirsig #

Careful with that grudge match. You might start a grudge fire.

What I believe is that all clear-minded people should remain two things throughout their lifetimes: Curious and teachable.

Rogert Ebert #

There's no place like ~.

Mark Smith #

I love deadlines. I like the whooshing sound they make as they fly by.

Douglas Adams #

Mwahahaha! Woohoo!

--Bzzzap!--

Wow. So that's your science fair project?

What? No, that's just the light switch.

... The ... light switch.

Look, I'm a girl with needs, okay?

Girl Genius #

(10:38:39 PM) sberling entered the room.

(10:39:06 PM) sberling left the room.

(10:39:19 PM) wtracy: well *fine*

seen in #cplug #

(09:52:19 PM) _markt: well, nobody's ever accused me of being normal

(09:52:28 PM) dkirker: _markt: you are normal

seen in #cplug #

Slugs like beer more than strawberries.

CarmanAvenue #

Go to Heaven for the climate, Hell for the company.

Mark Twain #

Being connected in every sense is the most important thing. You have to be connected to the world.

Olivier Rousteing #

I do not want a duly licensed representative of the Internet. I want a duly licensed representative of the Blogosphere.

Ubersoft.net #

These may involve hunting down whoever added whichever thing it is and torturing information out of them.

from the GCC Documentation Project's web page #

Our scheduler will be made of awesome with a dollop of amazing on top. It might even run without triggering a kernel panic!

As seen in RgrRgr research paper. #

I don't believe in happy endings, but I do believe in happy travels, because ultimately, you die at a very young age, or you live long enough to watch your friends die. It's a mean thing, life.

George Clooney #

They're crafty those Canadians. I think the whole mostly harmless nice guy to the north persona, is a clever deception to lull us into a false sense of security. Then they'll pounce, and force us to eat round bacon, drink Moosehead, and force us to listen to Bill Shatner sing/recite Rocket Man, until we recognize the Governor General as the true leader of North America.

1stSarge, on the 365Tomorrows forum #

you think its funny that I'm crying. But you eat shit and I eat the fruit jam.

Random Russian Dude #

Now that I've got my foot stuck in the tar-baby ...

Mike Rice #

(07:24:02 PM) Cliff: I love arguing with people on the internets

seen in #cplug #

I am the machine that reveals the world to you as only I alone am able to see it.

Dziga Vertov #

In the frank expression of conflicting opinions lies the greatest promise of wisdom in governmental action.

Louis D. Brandeis #

In theory, theory and practice are the same. In practice, they’re not.

Yoggi Berra #

The UNIX system has a command, nice, which allows a user to voluntarily reduce the priority of his process, in order to be nice to the other users. Nobody ever uses it.

Andrew Tannenbaum, _Modern Operating Systems_ #

Anything one man can imagine, other men can make real.

Jules Verne #

(12:36:47 AM) ***trainman419 pokes dkirker with a spoon

(12:37:20 AM) dkirker: and the crazy thing is, trainman419 really is poking me with a spoon

seen in #cplug #

To know someone here or there with whom you feel there is an understanding in spite of distances or thoughts unexpressed... that can make of this earth a garden

goethe #

The way I want to change the world is expressed in my source code.

Dr. Clark S. Turner #

Fill your paper with the breathings of your heart.

William Wordsworth #

If debugging is the process of removing software bugs, then programming must be the process of putting them in.

E. W. Dijkstra #

Hyperlisk: Stupid hair... I need less of it

seen in #cplug #

Better is the enemy of working.

Jenee Hughes #

Benjamin Whetham: OOOO, Just like in the basement of their office. The Wolves eat the zombies, the Zombies give out mittens and hot chocolate, and I have no idea where this is going.

James M.: I now want to find a zombie so I can get some mittens and hot chocolate.

Ordinary people are becoming spammers and think they are forwarding funny jokes. Those jokes are not funny. They are spam. You are infected with the spambie virus.

seen on Slashdot #

Finish each day and be done with it. You have done what you could. Some blunders and absurdities have crept in; forget them as soon as you can. Tomorrow is a new day. You shall begin it serenely and with too high a spirit to be encumbered with your old nonsense.

Ralph Waldo Emerson #

In jurisdictions where Murphy's law is applicable ...

Andrew Tanenbaum, _Modern Operating Systems_ #

(01:06:28 PM) wtracy: su

(01:07:18 PM) ***xiong_chiamiov was hoping for the password, too

seen in #cplug #

(08:47:41 PM) Shinies: most of ubuntu is magic anyways

(08:47:46 PM) Shinies: made by wizards

seen in #cplug #

(02:51:08 AM) sadistic-otaku: haha

(02:51:15 AM) sadistic-otaku: i am soberr

seen in #cplug #

$ alas

bash: alas: command not found

... some systems take an environmentally correct approach and recycle their threads.

Andrew Tanenbaum, discussing concurrent programming #

The goal is to make a space where a few ideas and images and feelings may be so arranged that a reader will want to linger awhile among them, rather than to flee.

Janet Malcolm #

You make your path by walking.

Grace Lee Boggs #

You think its funny that I'm crying. But you eat shit and I eat the fruit jam.

Random Russian Dude #

The advancement and diffusion of knowledge is the only guardian of true liberty.

Thomas Jefferson #

Who could pollute the entire world?

Nausicaa #

(05:35:55 PM) Tyl3rDurd3n: we're all terrible SYN'ners...

seen in #cplug #

Sure, this will probably end up being another in a long line of emotionally crippling misadventures... but let's try to have some fun along the way."

Yorick Brown, Y: The Last Man #43 #

Avoid the temptation to Frankenstein your pH levels. Adding sulfuric acid or Drano to your aquarium can present more problems than the original problem.

aqualandpetsplus.com, on breeding cichlids #

(03:27:19 PM) BrokenPipe: that's hot

(03:28:26 PM) Cliff: totally

(03:28:44 PM) Ryuho-campus: the split whitespace or the girl with deep voice

seen in #cplug #

Wanna get some pizza? Wanna have Sex? What you don't like pizza? I don't think i could have sex with a girl who doesn't like pizza.

Johnny Stafford #

We don't make movies to make money, we make money to make more movies.

Walt Disney #

Always code as if the guy who ends up maintaining your code will be a violent psychopath who knows where you live.

Rick Osborne #

Whatever we are, whatever we make of ourselves, is all we will ever have – and that, in its profound simplicity, is the meaning of life.

Philip Appleman #

The suboptimal decision is waiting.

Niket Desai #

Measuring programming progress by lines of code is like measuring aircraft building progress by weight.

Bill Gates #

(03:43:52 AM) ChaosArbiter: see the problem is out of context someone is going to take that seriously.

seen in #cplug #

If you're thinking... I'm not RoboMan (or woman...) but I want to be, then you should email me about your desire to dress up in the Robot Costume and run around campus. This is way more fun than it sounds ...

from the newsletter for the Cal Poly Robotics Club #

(03:25:11 PM) BrokenPipe: sleep can be replaced with caffeine

(03:25:15 PM) BrokenPipe: in equal quantities

seen in #cplug #

So much complexity in software comes from trying to make one thing do two things.

Ryan Singer #

(05:48:23 PM) trainman419: I never get tired of reading this documentation: Your tape changer and you

seen in #cplug #

One major known problem with supporting V-class is the complexity of its PCI bus adapter (EPIC and SAGA). Support for the V-class isn't going to happen until some really masochistic person who has access to a V-class is, uh, challenged by this.

from the Linux-on-HPPA FAQ #

Make no little plans; they have no magic to stir men's blood and probably themselves will not be realized. Make big plans; aim high in hope and work, remembering that a noble, logical diagram once recorded will not die, but long after we are gone be a living thing, asserting itself with ever-growing insistence. Remember that our sons and our grandsons are going to do things that would stagger us. Let your watchword be order and your beacon beauty.

Daniel Burnham #

/**

* Please don't call this.

*/

public static function update() {

throw new BadFunctionCallException(NOES! Don't Call me!);

}

from a project Nat was working on #

(11:11:15 PM) hellwolf left the room (quit: Don't follow me).

seen in ##kernel #

PHP is a minor evil perpetrated and created by incompetent amateurs, whereas Perl is a great and insidious evil, perpetrated by skilled but perverted professionals.

Jon Ribbens #

http://hasthelargehadroncolliderdestroyedtheworldyet.com/ #

I see all this potential, and I see squandering. God damn it, an entire generation pumping gas, waiting tables.slaves with white collars. Advertising has us chasing cars and clothes, working jobs we hate so we can buy shit we don't need. We're the middle children of history, man. No purpose or place. We have no Great War. No Great Depression. Our Great War's a spiritual war... our Great Depression is our lives. We've all been raised on television to believe that one day we'd all be millionaires and movie gods and rock stars. But we won't. And we're slowly learning that fact. And we're very, very pissed off.

Tyler Durden, Fight Club #

I touched that dog's butt and it got really scared.

Le #

mind-flayer: eharmony.com told me it couldn't match me

seen in #cplug #

You're only given a little spark of madness. Don't lose it.

Robin Williams #

wtracy: dependency tree sounds like something from a rehab clinic

seen in #cplug #

(12:35:46 AM) icco: oh man, I feel like spamming the channel

seen in #cplug #

Where do I begin and end in space? I have relations to the sun and air which are just as vital parts of my existence as my heart.

Alan Watts #

Xenith: BrokenPipe: I thought everybody cried silently while masturbating for hours

--seen in #cplug

Amateurs sit and wait for inspiration, the rest of us just get up and go to work.

Stephen King #

Urban[0]: and I think they are on crack

seen in #cplug Urban[0]: I think you are all on crack. #

(05:35:27 PM) ***Xenith eats a baby

(05:36:10 PM) Hyperlisk: Xenith: That's practically out of season dawg

seen in #cplug #

(06:33:58 PM) Ozymandius: Lesson 1: Jaeger + whiskey = bad

(06:34:10 PM) Ozymandius: Lesson 2: Blended scotch = not great

(06:34:19 PM) Ozymandius: Lesson 3: 2 Buck Chuck is not 2 bucks

(06:34:38 PM) Ozymandius: Lesson 4: You can stab someone else if you think it's reasonable.

(06:34:49 PM) Ozymandius: Lesson 5: Don't ask for money. Sue for money.

(06:35:00 PM) Ozymandius: Probably the top 5 lessons from law school

seen in #cplug #

What is life if nobody is crossing a line?

Dave Chappelle #

The memory management on the PowerPC can be used to frighten small children.

Linus Torvalds #

No, no, it's fine! Computer Science is the discipline of pedantry: every stupid little thing has to be exactly right for anything to work.

Dr. John Clements #

It kind of goes bip-boop-bip-boop-beep, and it's kind of hard to think about.

Dr. John Clements #

(10:46:48 PM) BrokenPipe: nope

(10:47:02 PM) icco: no?

(10:47:09 PM) BrokenPipe: no

(10:47:15 PM) ***BrokenPipe pats icco's head

seen in #cplug #

Inspiration exists, but it has to find you working.

Pablo Picasso #

illegal use of duct tape... You've been busy.

Officer Sonoda Masamichi from Megatokyo #

Amnesia's where you forget something, right?

Journey of a thousand miles begins with one step.

Lao Tzu #

A man sometimes devotes his life to a desire which he is not sure will ever be fulfilled. Those who laugh at this folly are, after all, no more than mere spectators of life.

Ryunosuke Akutagawa #

/* Prototypes. <-- because Paco-Paco hates this comment. */

from the Pidgin source code #

If everything seems under control you're not going fast enough.

Mario Andrretti #

Quantum physicists didn't discover spooky action at a distance; in software, we've had it for years.

Michael C. Feathers, _Working Effectively with Legacy Code_ #

Some code:

FIXME

kernelnewbies.org #

trainman419: yeah, but that's what freshmen are for

seen in #cplug #

A 'a ThingCollection value is constructed from OneThing, TwoThings, ManyThings, and Nothing constructors to store a collection of 'a values. Write a function flatten collection that takes a 'a ThingCollection as an argument and that returns a 'a ThingCollection that is constructed from a single ManyThings and a single Nothing.

Professor Keen, homework assignment 1, CSC 430 #

It is suggested that the user try to avoid losting the password book.

Andrew Tannenbaum, on computer security #

This summer...There is another word for EXCITEMENT!

Roget's Thesaurus: The Motion Picture

posted by dr_dank on Slashdot #

For the Laten letters A-Z case mapping is obvious (at least for people who speak Latin).

Andrew Tannenbaum #

Try not to drink the sunscreen, it's not healthy.

Deimos #

(10:32:32 PM) trainman419: sometimes GE classes bore me, and then I run out of reasons to go to class

(10:32:46 PM) trainman419: and then I forget to go to the final

(10:32:52 PM) trainman419: and then I am dead

seen in #cplug #

Back before my buddies and I turned 21, booze was too much trouble to acquire (have to find somebody to pull for you, pretend to like him/share with him/whatever, etc.) So, we typically just avoided the whole mess and sat around smoking weed. Those retailers never check ID.

gnick, posting on slashdot #

I'm sorry Dave, I'm afraid I can't do that.

HAL 9000 #

The 1003.1 document is written in such a way that both operating system implementers and software writers can understand it, another novelty in the standards world, although work is already underway to remedy this.

Andrew Tannenbaum, on POSIX #

Only a fool worries over what he can’t control.

Patrick Rothfuss #

The use of this redundant [little-endian and big-endian] coding was necessary to avoid huring anyone's feelings when the [ISO 9660] standard was developed. If the standard had dictated little endian, then people from companies whose products were big endian would have felt like second-class citizens and would not have accepted the standard. The emotional content of a CD-ROM can thus be quantified and measured exactly in kilobytes/hour of wasted space.

Andrew Tanenbaum, _Modern Operating Systems_ #

He has never been known to use a word that might send a reader to the dictionary."

-– William Faulkner (about Ernest Hemingway)

Poor Faulkner. Does he really think big emotions come from big words?

Ernest Hemingway (about William Faulkner) #

Programmers who believe adding new features does not add new bugs are either new to computers or believe the tooth fairy is out there watching over them.

Andrew Tannenbaum #

[it] doesn't crash? Oh yes. Hell hath frozen and it is buzzing with winged pigs.

kblizard in the BluGoo commit logs #

Only the system administrator may ask for better than normal service. Deducing the reason for this rule is left as an exercise for the reader.

Andrew Tannenbaum, on nice() #

Dude, there's tons of stuff worse than death. Remember the He-Man Chrismas special?

Skin-Horse.com #

(03:08:49 PM) lsem: schily_: yes, please enlighten me

(03:09:04 PM) ***JonathanThompson turns on a high-intensity light directly above lsem's head

seen in #haiku #

There are no short cuts to any place worth going.

Beverly Sills #

ChaosArbiter: coding in the buff makes you code 10x better

dkirker: ChaosArbiter: good idea!

seen in #cplug #

(10:16:43 PM) Ryuho: but they are physically turned off

(10:16:58 PM) Ryuho: so you can't connect to them right now

(10:16:58 PM) DanaG: I wonder if you could ssh-tunnel wake-on-lan packets.

seen in #cplug #

(03:19:44 PM) wtracy: dkirker: nabru remembers the last time you abused it

(03:19:59 PM) dkirker: that f*ing bot is going to get it some day

(03:20:33 PM) wtracy: !8ball do you harbor a secret grudge against dkirker?

(03:20:34 PM) nabru: wtracy: Signs point to yes.

(03:20:42 PM) wtracy: I rest my case

seen in #cplug #

Math? Math is for pussies. My movies are about shit blowing up, man.

Rob of toplessrobot.com, in reference to Michael Bay's Transformers 2 #

If the church put in half the time on covetousness that it does on lust, this would be a better world."

Garrison Keillor, "Lake Wobegon Days" #

Personally, I love bashing my head against new challenges (why else would I lead WoW raids with my family?)

Shirt Guy Dom #

It is not the strongest or the most intelligent who will survive but those who can best manage change.

Charles Darwin #

(03:21:18 PM) BrokenPipe: haha hamdemic

(03:31:04 PM) Contre-work: aporkalypse?

(03:44:40 PM) BrokenPipe: of epig proporktions

seen in #cplug #

I have no root and I want to scream

one of the error messages generated by the Linux kernel #

(08:51:01 PM) trainman419: I think you need to quote that

seen in #cplug #

Just what do you think you're doing, Dave?

HAL 9000 #

/* XXX seanegan Why do I have to do this? */

from the Pidgin source code #

Xenith: You know you're using the computer too much when: you can tell it's the updatedb cronjob by the sound the harddisk is making.

seen in #cplug #

[CC]bLink: if my cuties were frozen in the fridge and i take them out to thaw will they mold?

seen in #cplug #

I'm a product of my environment, you asshole

H@ckM4st4 D4ve. #

Life is like topography, Hobbes. There are summits of happiness and success, flat stretches of boring routine, and valleys of frustration and failure.

Calvin of Calvin & Hobbes #

PowerPC registers have numbers, not names. For the learner, this can sometimes be confusing since literals aren't easily distinguishable from registers. 3 could mean the value 3 or the register gpr3, or floating point fpr3, or special purpose register spr3. Get used to it. :)

Hollis Blanchard #

Some people, when confronted with a problem, think I know, I'll use regular expressions. Now they have two problems.

Jamie Zawinski #

I learned that money can be a lot of things. It can be something that is hoarded, fought over, protected, stolen and withheld. Or it can be like an energy, fueled by the desire, will, creative interest, need to laugh, of large groups of people. And it can be shuffled and pushed around and pooled together to fuel a common interest, jokes about garbage, penises and parenthood.

Louis C.K. #

It's not fair to call vista a virus. Viruses are some of the tiniest and most efficient pieces of code written.

Slashdot post by Sakdoctor #

Eighty percent of success is showing up.

Woody Allen #

(04:27:25 AM) Cedro: i wish someone covered dental for me, i have no idea how i'm going to get mine pulled

(04:27:51 AM) Cedro: i wonder if bourbon and pliers are cheaper than the traditional method

seen in #cplug #

On Tue, Apr 7, 2009 at 9:55 PM, Chris Staub wrote:

> Repeating that you need help does not make anyone more likely to do so.

> In fact, given your past behavior as well as how you're continuing to

> act, I'd be surprised if anyone ever does.

But still give me some help.

seen on the LFS support list #

Money is circulated. Time is spent.

Frank Chimero #

I'd like to be secretary or webmaster, because I'm sexy.

James Pearson #

All that is gold does not glitter,

Not all those who wander are lost;

The old that is strong does not wither,

Deep roots are not reached by the frost.

From the ashes a fire shall be woken,

A light from the shadows shall spring;

Renewed shall be blade that was broken,

The crownless again shall be king.

J.R.R. Tolkien, The Fellowship of the Ring #

"Le vent se lève! Il faut tenter de vivre!" ("The wind is rising! We must try to live!")

Paul Valéry #

All I wanted to do was to make something beautiful.

Jiro Horikoshi #

An old Russian saying is: Trust but Verify. Clearly, the old Russian clearly had software in mind.

Andrew Tannenbaum, on software security #

There's no Nature without Nat

Some scoutmaster #

(11:30:52 AM) mgius: i am too hairy

(11:30:55 AM) mgius: there is hair everywhere

(11:31:04 AM) mgius: seriously, why is there hair on the desk

seen in #cplug #

The dumbfuck is hard upon us. But don't fear it, so much as the inability to continue to recognise it.

William Gibson #

When we try to pick anything out by itself, we find it hitched to everything else in the universe.

John Muir #

If there is no wind, row.

Latin Proverb #

I don’t care if it works on your machine! We are not shipping your machine!

Ovidiu Platon #

User B will hang around the printer room for years, wistfully hoping for output that never comes.

Andrew Tanenbaum, on the possible effects of a software bug #

The destruction is caused by disruption of cytoplasmic streaming and loss of anthocyanin (I thought you'd really want to know that) ...

Jess Walmsley, on the cell biology of Aponogeton madagascariensis #

We who cut mere stones must always be envisioning cathedrals.

Quarry worker's creed #

As computers take over ... there's going to be nothing left for human beings to do but the more creative types of endeavor.

Isaac Asimov, in an interview with Bill Moyers #

Balance pattern. Find rhythm. Once mastered, little movement required. Force needed to release, motion utilized to direct.

Bungie, Destiny #

Two things are infinite: the universe and human stupidity; and I’m not sure about the universe.

Albert Einstein #

Inexpensive personal computers can even be replaced within an hour by just going to a computer store (except at universities, where issuing a purchase order takes three committies, five signatures, and 90 days).

Andrew Tanenbaum, _Modern Operating Systems_ #

I was concerned that my comics weren't nerdy enough.

Shaenon K. Garrity #

It looks like the Vice-President-In-Charge-Of-Saying-No was asleep at the wheel.

Andrew Tannenbaum, on feature creep #

(06:19:25 PM) superseth: the worst thing ever occured today

(06:19:39 PM) superseth: i decided it would be a good idea to shave again

seen in #cplug #

(08:39:52 PM) ryuho: i'm helping my friend steal from my parent's company

(08:40:11 PM) ryuho: helping a journalism chick crack cs3 is harder than i thought

seen in #cplug #

Please note that what Jeffrey calls awesome, others may call cause to doubt the existence of a just and benevolent God.

Shaenon Garrity #

Jeannie Nguyen needs to pee but is too lazy to.

seen on Facebook #

A human being should be able to change a diaper, plan an invasion, butcher a hog, conn a ship, design a building, write a sonnet, balance accounts, build a wall, set a bone, comfort the dying, take orders, give orders, cooperate, act alone, solve equations, analyze a new problem, pitch manure, program a computer, cook a tasty meal, fight efficiently, and die gallantly. Specialization is for insects.

Robert A. Heinlein from The Notebook of Lazarus Long #

Whenever a carriage return (Enter key) was typed at a terminal, the process belonging to that terminal was moved to the highest priority class, on the assumption that it was about to become interactive. One fine day, some user with a heavily CPU-bound process discovered that just sitting at the terminal and typing carriage returns at random every few seconds did wonders for his response time. He told all his friends.

Andrew Tannenbaum, _Modern Operating Systems_ #

Programmers have a tendency to assume that code size and bug count will be 0 and speed will be infinite. Experience shows this view to be a bit optimistic.

Andrew Tannenbaum, on code optimization #

The end is never the end. A new challenge awaits. A test no man could be prepared for. A new hell he must conquer and destroy. A new level of growth he must confront himself. The machine in the ghost within. This is the journey of the man on the moon.

Common #

Life would be tragic if it weren't funny.

Stephen Hawking #

OH GOD OWLBALL HAI OWLBALL (._.)/

Brenda Carlson #

If you want to have good ideas you must have many ideas. Most of them will be wrong, and what you have to learn is which ones to throw away.

Linus Pauling #

... the killer must have the necessary authorization to do in the killee.

Andrew Tanenbaum, discussing process termination #

(08:17:38 PM) Urban[0]: whoa whoa whoa. just whoa.

(08:17:46 PM) Urban[0]: what?

seen in #cplug #

when you can measure what you are speaking about, and express it in numbers, you know something about it; but when you cannot measure it, when you cannot express it in numbers, your knowledge is of a meagre and unsatisfactory kind

Lord Kelvin #

We should forget about small efficiencies, say about 97% of the time: premature optimization is the root of all evil.

C. A. R. Hoare #

Did you ever find it strange that you can clean something up by rinsing it down?

Sure, this will probably end up being another in a long line of emotionally crippling misadventures... but let's try to have some fun along the way.

Yorick Brown, Y: The Last Man #43 #

(11:36:13 PM) Hyperlisk: I'll just walk around telling people I know you

(11:38:28 PM) ChaosArbiter: I'll bring the wrath of the death kittens upon your pitiful head.

seen in #cplug #

(10:31:32 PM) DanaG: hah, Windows Problem Reporting has stopped working.

(10:31:39 PM) DanaG: ... do you want to report the problem?

seen in #cplug #

To become a champion, fight one more round.

James Corbett #

(08:58:18 PM) mgius: party at Shinies!

(08:58:31 PM) Shinies: as long as no one touches the mini

seen in #cplug #

Words mean things.

Erin Kissanne #

The free-range orphans will be grown hydroponically on sustainably harvested straw bales. The orphans will also be required to have at least 35% post-consumer recycled content including hemp diapers.

http://www.archinect.com/forum/threads.php?id=70354_0_42_0_C #

Yeah pffft I hate it when scientists do research only to find out what they expected. They should only do research that would yield unexpected results.

posted by 4D6963 on Slashdot #

Once again, the world is saved by the inscrutable machinations of contract law.

Ubersoft.net #

D'You ever wonder if clouds see shapes in the ground? Because I wonder about that a lot.

Fighter from 8-Bit Theater #

Change does not roll in on the wheels of inevitability, but comes through continuous struggle. And so we must straighten our backs and work for our freedom. A man can't ride you unless your back is bent.

Martin Luther King Jr. #

He has never been known to use a word that might send a reader to the dictionary. - William Faulkner (about Ernest Hemingway)

Poor Faulkner. Does he really think big emotions come from big words? - Ernest Hemingway (about William Faulkner)

Information Wants To Be Free, and Code Wants To Be Wrong.

Steven Brand #

I'm a product of my environment, you asshole.

H@ckM4st4 D4ve. #

/** This is a piece of code that I didn't write. It's ugly, I

* don't understand it, and it frightens small children. It's

* legacy HartMath code that forms a classic example of the

* Lava Flow antipattern.

*/

from the CAS source code #

Right now, I'm dogsitting at kakibell's apartment. Her dog is pretty cute as dogs go, but I think of him more as a throw pillow. A throw pillow who likes widdling on my futon and nibbling on my feet, yes, but a pillow nonetheless.

Shirt Guy Dom #

A good traveler has no fixed plans and is not intent on arriving.

Lao Tzu #

They can’t eat you.

Merlin Mann #

Einstein argued that there must be simplified explanations of nature, because God is not capricious or arbitrary. No such faith comforts the software engineer.

Fred Brooks #

We’re all in the forest, but some of us are reaching for the trees.

Oscar Wilde #

Ozymandius: whereami: I'm glad I never did laundry near you, walking in on that would have seriously hurt my mental abilities

seen in #cplug #

(02:26:31 PM) Contre-work: it may not physically damage your brain but it certainly can lead to just being a retard

seen in #cplug #

(10:23:06 PM) trainman419: should I make a speech?

(10:23:49 PM) _markt: no

(10:24:47 PM) trainman419: ok, I don't have much to say anyway

seen in #cplug #

A computer lets you make more mistakes faster than any other invention in human history, with the possible exceptions of handguns and tequila.

Mitch Ratcliffe #

See, the world is full of things more powerful than us. But if you know how to catch a ride, you can go places

Neal Stephenson #

You laugh, but I would kill for stone tablets. At the school where I teach, we're still using clay tablets with a stylus to write homework assignments in cuneiform. Some of the younger teachers fresh out of college are experimenting with something called papyrus. The students, on the other hand, seem to all have iPhones.

ciaohound, posting on Slashdot #

(08:21:07 PM) Urban[0]: if a child of small stature is sacrificed in my honor then yes.

(08:21:29 PM) trainman419: done

seen in #cplug #

There are few sources of energy so powerful as a procrastinating grad student.

Paul Graham #

Sound - Thanks to the warped mind of Steve Schmidtke, UML has sound support.

from the User Mode Linux documentation #

Wanna get some pizza? Wanna have Sex? What you don't like pizza? I don't think I could have sex with a girl who doesn't like pizza.

Johnny Stafford #

I believe in the power of the imagination to remake the world, to release the truth within us, to hold back the night, to transcend death, to charm motorways, to ingratiate ourselves with birds, to enlist the confidences of madmen.

J.G. Ballard #

Ed is the standard text editor.

Creativity that satisfies and affirms your world view is Entertainment. Creativity that challenges and disrupts your world view is Art.

Neil deGrasse Tyson #

(11:24:10 PM) omfgjeannie: NOOOOOOOOOOO

(11:24:11 PM) omfgjeannie: BROADCOMMMM

(11:24:12 PM) omfgjeannie: EVILLLLLLLLL

seen in #cplug #

Walking on water and developing software from a specification are easy if both are frozen.

Edward V Berard #

Listening to icco's Last.fm library is kind of like being in the mind of a schizophrenic music hipster.

Mark Gius #

(12:08:22 AM) ***icco wishes that execboard didn't kill themselves

seen in #cplug #

The mark of the immature man is that he wants to die nobly for a cause while the mark of the mature man is that he wants to live humbly for one.

Motoko Kusanagi #

You're only old when you can no longer learn new tricks.

http://www.yelsew.com/thoughts.html #

THANK SCIENCE IT'S FRIDAY.

Overheard. #

(02:18:54 PM) DanaG: Odd... I'm sweating, even though I'm not too warm.

(02:23:21 PM) Urban[0]: Odd... SWAT just busted down my door.

seen in #cplug #

From The Sarah Conner Chronicles we learn that at least part of SkyNet is written in Visual Basic and that Terminator CPUs plug into a small subsection of the PCI bus. No wonder they want to kill humanity.

tvtropes.org #

Gray is a color, grey is a *colour*.

halivar, posting on slashdot #

Scoobasteve:

anyone know wat a drunk nerd looks like???

m00f00:

My brother was in a marching band fraternity. I’ve seen plenty, unfortunately.

seen on failblog.org #

The flavor of Redcode used in this guide is (mostly) the current de facto standard, the ICWS '94 Standard Draft with pMARS 0.8 extensions. (Sort of like the Netscape extensions to HTML... Hmm... Luckily we still don't have a Microsoft Corewar Simulator. Maybe they think the market's too small.)

Ilmari Karonen, http://vyznev.net/corewar/guide.html #

(08:35:40 PM) rwong: maybe someone DNS jacked unix4 and then you just sent your password to them, oh noes.

(08:36:10 PM) poodyp1: ssh, you're gonna ruin my plan

(08:36:25 PM) poodyp1: my plan to steal everyone's homework mwahahaha!

(08:37:53 PM) Contre: poodyp1: is it bad that I read your shushing as ssh the protocol?

seen in #cplug #

[CC]bLink: square pixels turn me on

seen in #cplug #

Let the past die. Kill it, if you have to. It’s the only way to become what you’re meant to be.

Kylo Ren #

Honestly, there are 2 types of folks who make it: the lucky ones, and the persistent ones.

rwhitman #

What you do makes a difference and you have to decide what kind of difference you want to make.

Jane Goodall #

Wait, are you talking about the Devil Dogs?!

Technically, they're called: Fun-sized mobile agony and death dispensers.

Girl Genius #

/* Now it's definitely a bug */

from the Pidgin source code #

When the Minuteman II [nuclear missile] went into production in 1966, [guidance computer] was replaced with a new computer that was the first high-volume use of integrated circuits. This program alone reduced prices on quad nand gate ICs from $1000/each to $3/each, permitting their use in commercial products.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Embedded_system #

Nash: You have no respect for cognitive reverie, you know that?

Charles: Yes. But pizza - now, pizza I have enormous respect for. And of course beer.

A Beautiful Mind #

Live by the code, die by the code.

My great grandfather worked in a factory so my grandfather could be a teacher, my grandfather was a teacher so my father could be a lawyer, my father was a lawyer so i could be an artist.

Perry Chen #

Brevity is a by-product of vigor.

W. Strunk & E.B. White #

The perfect race car crosses the finish line in first place and then falls to pieces.

Ferdinand Porsche #

It's hard to beat a person who never gives up.

Babe Ruth #

Student: So, Git is saying it wants to delete everything?

Dr. John Clements: No, Git is saying you already deleted everything.

One, remember to look up at the stars and not down at your feet. Two, never give up work. Work gives you meaning and purpose and life is empty without it. Three, if you are lucky enough to find love, remember it is there and don't throw it away.

Stephen Hawking #

/* this is gonna crash one day, I can feel it. */

from the Pidgin source code #

If you want to build a ship, don't drum up people to collect wood and don't assign them tasks and work, but rather teach them to long for the endless immensity of the sea.

Antoine de Saint-Exupery #

Some people walk around all day with a chip on their shoulder (not to be confused with people with an RFID chip *in* their shoulder).

Andrew Tannenbaum, on script kiddies #

The programmer, like the poet, works only slightly removed from pure thought-stuff. He builds his castles in the air, from air, creating by exertion of the imagination.

Fred Brooks #

I have always wished for my computer to be as easy to use as my telephone; my wish has come true because I can no longer figure out how to use my telephone.

Bjarne Stroustrup #

#undef FLOAT /* This is for hpux. They should change hpux. */

from the GCC source code #

The dewdrop fairies are playing clown music on their zithers in my head, but it's okay because the streetlight crossed the road to spite the chicken. I really need to get more sleep.

David C. Simon, author of the webcomic Crimson Dark #

For what it's worth: it's never too late or, in my case, too early to be whoever you want to be. There's no time limit, start whenever you want. You can change or stay the same, there are no rules to this thing. We can make the best or the worst of it. I hope you make the best of it. I hope you see things that startle you. I hope you feel things you never felt before. I hope you meet people who have a different point of view. I hope you live a life you're proud of, and if you find that you're not, I hope you have the strength to start all over again.

Benjamin Button #

I'm not a businessman, I'm a business, man.

Jay-Z #

You mean to tell me that you two dimwits made all these toys--but the kingdom has no defenses at all?!

Erm, well, I suppose not.

We're kind of a twinkly, fairy-tale sort of kingdom, you know?

Girl Genius #

... and you cannot deny that he has a magnificent death ray.

... That's ... That's hardly a basis for a stable relationship.

Girl Genius #

Free range orphans are known to be a viable alternative to pressure treated lumber. An alternative is organic pandas. The high bamboo content in the pandas' diet makes them excellent kindling. They also make great kitchen countertops in a loft with a black & white theme.

http://www.archinect.com/forum/threads.php?id=70354_0_42_0_C #

(06:31:10 PM) wtracy: I never claimed to be an athlete

(06:31:23 PM) Urban[0]: I never said you were.

seen in #cplug #

Now we know everything there is to know about ML, except how to program!

Jeffrey D. Ullman, _Elements of ML Programming_ #

This is basically fanfic of my own characters.

Shaenon Garrity #

(01:35:39 PM) bjornredtai1: Then, he might accidentally wreck a tanker of Penguin aphrodisiac on Pluto...

seen in #cplug #

/*

* We're done piddling around with command line arguments.

* Fire up this baby.

*/

from the Pidgin source code #

(12:06:42 AM) Urban[0]: ok is mgius saying things?

(12:06:49 AM) _markt: no

(12:06:51 AM) mgius: no

seen in #cplug #

Writing is like driving at night in the fog. You can only see as far as your headlights, but you can make the whole trip that way.

E.L. Doctorow #

Perfect is the enemy of good.

Voltaire #

(08:49:26 PM) wtracy: that makes more sense than some of the things I was thinking

(08:49:38 PM) wtracy: that is certainly less disturbing than some of the things I was thinking

seen in #cplug #

Yes, the moms eat their babies. Saves them the trouble of coming up with all those names.

aqualandpetsplus.com, on guppies #

(08:16:38 PM) Cliff: I wanna work in a sewer

(08:16:57 PM) Cliff: and discover sewage that no one's ever discovered

(08:17:01 PM) Cliff: and pile it on my head

(08:17:05 PM) Cliff: and come to the surface

(08:17:10 PM) Cliff: and sell myself to an art galaray

(08:17:12 PM) Cliff: gallery

(08:21:02 PM) trainman419: Cliff: have another drink

seen in #cplug #

Saying that Java is good because it works on all platforms is like saying anal sex is good because it works on all genders

Unknown #

I see all this potential, and I see squandering. God damn it, an entire generation pumping gas, waiting tables—slaves with white collars. Advertising has us chasing cars and clothes, working jobs we hate so we can buy shit we don't need. We're the middle children of history, man. No purpose or place. We have no Great War. No Great Depression. Our Great War's a spiritual war . . . our Great Depression is our lives. We've all been raised on television to believe that one day we'd all be millionaires and movie gods and rock stars. But we won't. And we're slowly learning that fact. And we're very, very pissed off."

Tyler Durden, Fight Club #

There is no substitute for hard work.

Thomas Edison #

Stupid birds, rising up to take control of the planet. I always knew they were up to no good with their beady little eyes. Fine, sure, we left the surface alone and moved underground or whatever because even our SPF 99^9 wasn't cutting it. Doesn't mean the planet doesn't still belong to us, birds. We'll show you though. We have guns that fire bees. Angry, angry bees. They'll sting you and maybe also make honey, although that last part isn't really relevant here. BEES.

SOdhner, posting to the 365tomorrows forum Now that's the oddest way I've ever seen of telling us about the birds and the bees... #

(02:26:06 PM) Contre-work: sustained WoW use affects academic achievement

seen in #cplug #

(02:14:27 PM) Urban[0]: what's with the helicopters?

(02:14:43 PM) trainman419: they're coming for you

(02:15:19 PM) Urban[0]: did not do it!

seen in #cplug #

Shut up and look.

Edward Tufte #

(09:13:57 PM) You are now known as Oh

(09:14:03 PM) ***Oh no!

(09:14:05 PM) ***Oh my!

(09:14:08 PM) ***Oh dear!

(09:14:17 PM) ***Oh what a beautiful morning!

(09:14:20 PM) ***Oh what a beautiful day!

(09:15:01 PM) ***Oh say can you see, by the dawn's early light?

(09:15:12 PM) ***Oh for a muse of fire!

(09:15:40 PM) ***Oh boy!

(09:16:58 PM) You have been kicked by icco: ( Oh really?)

seen in #cplug #

The main problem with proclaiming that Linux isn't ready for the desktop is that it misses the fact that Windows isn't ready for the desktop either. The technically literate can use both, and the technically illiterate can't use either.

Slashdot post by Free the Cowards #

Erika: For future reference, that is not a word you should show a girl. Ever.

Largo: Why? What does it mean?

Megatokyo #

Nobody tells a ship designer to build a ship without specifying whether they want a fishing vessel, a cruise ship, or a battleship. And even fewer change their minds after the product has arrived.

Andrew Tannenbaum, on software development #

A human being should be able to change a diaper, plan an invasion, butcher a hog, conn a ship, design a building, write a sonnet, balance accounts, build a wall, set a bone, comfort the dying, take orders, give orders, cooperate, act alone, solve equations, analyze a new problem, pitch manure, program a computer, cook a tasty meal, fight efficiently, and die gallantly.

Specialization is for insects.

Robert A. Heinlein from The Notebook of Lazarus Long #

So Han's walkin down the halls of Bespin with Lando. Leia's there lookin' good. Han thinks he's off to dinner, maybe some wine, a little flirting, and then back to the ol' guest quarters with Her Hotness. But the door opens, and there's Darth Vader.... Han doesn't look incredulously at Lando; he doesn't duck or run away. What does Han do? He starts shooting at the motherfucker. He starts shooting. Be like Han.

stevewhitaker #

In our deepest moments we say the most inadequate things.

Edna O'Brien #

One time I put my car into reverse while traveling 70 MPH on the freeway. It was a very exciting learning experience.

seen on Slashdot #

Prestigious Non-accreedited Degrees

No one is Turned Down

seen in a spam e-mail #

Assume nobody else has any idea what they're doing either. A lot of people refuse to try something because they feel they don't know enough about it or they assume other people must have already tried everything they could have thought of. Well, few people really have any idea how to do things right and even fewer are to try new things, so usually if you give your best shot at something you'll do pretty well.

Aaron Swartz #

At a university, for example, the pecking order may be deans first, then professors, secretaries, janitors, and finally students.

Andrew Tannenbaum, _Modern Operating Systems_ #

Most people do not think making backups of their files is worth the time and effort--until one fine day their disk abruptly dies, at which time most of them undergo a deathbed conversion.

Andrew Tanenbaum, _Modern Operating Systems_ #

(08:57:48 PM) Shinies: yeah my roommates seem nice

(08:57:51 PM) Shinies: they've been emailing me

(08:57:55 PM) mgius: bad sign

(08:57:57 PM) Shinies: they seem a little girly but that's ok

(08:57:57 PM) mgius: they're crazy

(08:57:59 PM) mgius: kill them

seen in #cplug #

The best time to plant a tree is 20 years ago. The second best time is now.

Chinese Proverb #

This is a time for protest and activism for sure, but it is also a time for subtlety, ambiguity and complexity.

Teju Cole #

[Earth] is the largest planet in the world.

Wikipedia #

We need a special holiday to honor the countless kind souls with unsecured networks named 'linksys'.

Randall Munroe #

Those aren't voices in your head. They're just the echoes of your indecision.

Ritchie Hawtin #

Its main function seems to be keeping otherwise unemployd graph theorists off the streets.

Andrew Tanenbaum, on research into distributed deadlock detection #

The secret of getting ahead is getting started.

Author unknown #

urban: some day there will be electric guitars in orchestras

seen in #cplug #

Programming today is a race between software engineers striving to build bigger and better idiot-proof programs, and the Universe trying to produce bigger and better idiots. So far, the Universe is winning.

Rich Cook #

There are only two hard things in Computer Science: cache invalidation and naming things.

Phil Karlton #

It's just an alias. Dereference it and you will find yourself.

Aaron Keen #

Any sufficiently analyzed magic is indistinguishable from science!

Girl Genius #

The power of imagination makes us infinite.

John Muir #

(09:57:24 PM) Cliff: odd

(09:57:31 PM) Cliff: i just had a cat bite my head

(09:58:05 PM) Cliff: not very sucessfully

(09:58:08 PM) Cliff: but he tried

(09:58:39 PM) Cliff: cats get away with a lot

seen in #cplug #

Life is "a series of rooms and who we get stuck in those rooms with adds up to what our lives are.

Eve from House ep3x12 #

The kernel is a lazy, deceitful sack of scum; this is the fundamental principle of virtual memory.

Gustavo Duarte #

(10:41:13 PM) iggames: hi

(10:42:04 PM) dkirker: hi

(10:42:19 PM) trainman419: hi

(10:42:35 PM) sadistic-otaku: hi

(10:42:51 PM) dkirker: hi

(10:44:59 PM) t3soro: hi

(10:45:01 PM) dkirker: hi

(10:45:07 PM) trainman419: hi

(10:45:09 PM) rwong48: hi

(10:45:10 PM) dkirker: hi

(10:45:10 PM) dkirker: hi

seen in #cplug #

Don't code to live; live to code!

(09:43:00 PM) Urban[0]: strange. bananas smell like bubble gum and my saliva tastes like lemons.

seen in #cplug #

(10:54:42 PM) DanaG: What's with the illegal seek error?

(10:55:15 PM) trainman419_: I guess you are doing an illegal seek

seen in #cplug #

A girl phoned me the other day and said... Come on over, there's nobody home. I went over. Nobody was home.

Rodney Dangerfield #

Grant me the strength to accept the things that I cannot change, the courage to change the things I can and the wisdom to know the difference.

The Serenity Prayer #

Imagine how different your life would be if you could cut the rework effort in half! You could build products faster, build more and better products in the same amount of time, and perhaps even go home occasionally.

Karl Wiegers, #

End of file on the terminal... why?

error message generated by pdfeTex #

(07:23:35 PM) ***trainman419 is building a low-perfomance computing cluster

seen in #cplug #

To prevent this scenario, all companies should have a general policy telling administrators never to make mistakes.

Andrew Tannenbaum, on system administration #

I must not be clever. Clever is the little death that brings malfunction and unmaintainability. I will face my cleverness; I will allow it to pass through me. When it has gone, only cleanness shall remain.

IConrad on Reddit #

You never know when a typical life will be anything but, and you won't know if you are rewriting history, or rewriting the future, until the writing is complete.

Debbie Millman #

I love French wine, like I love the French language. I have sampled every language, French is my favourite - fantastic language, especially to curse with. Nom de Dieu de putain de bordel de merde de saloperie de connard d'enculée ta mè! You see, it's like wiping your ass with silk, I love it. -

The Merovingian #

(12:36:43 AM) dkirker: no, it is connected through ESPN waves

seen in #cplug #

(11:10:14 PM) dkirker: is today really towel day?

(11:10:25 PM) dkirker: I think it would be cool to go to school in only a towel

(11:10:45 PM) wtracy: if I did that I would blind people

(11:10:56 PM) dkirker: true

seen in #cplug #

Apparently the electronics and entertainment industries are nostalgic for the format wars of the 1970s and 1980s between Betamax and VHS, so they decided to repeat it.

Andrew Tanenbaum, on Blu-Ray vs. HD-DVD #

It is, after all, my firmly held conviction that the goal of academia is to broadly disseminate good ideas for others to exploit.

Matt Walsh #

Results can vary from hangs/resets/mces/corrupt answers/cats living

with dogs.

Dave Airlile on the Xorg developer mailing list #

Art isn't for looking at, art is for feeling

Tracey Emin #

Opportunities are usually disguised as hard work, so most people don't recognize them.

Ann Landers #

----- Jeannie Nguyen wrote:

> and strippers in SATA cables.

Ah, my secret fantasy. How did you know?

Professor John Dalbey #

(09:18:09 PM) Urban[0]: why does everyone talk about me while I'm gone?

seen in #cplug #

Life is a series of rooms and who we get stuck in those rooms with adds up to what our lives are.

Eve from House ep3x12 #

Our doubts are traitors, and make us lose the good we oft might win, by fearing to attempt.

Shakespeare, Measure for Measure #

MAKE THE BLUE BOX COME BACK WHY DID IT LEAVE

jhughes, project changelog #

There's no device known to mankind that will prevent people from being idiots.

Mark Rasch #

Having an idea and carrying it out is worthwhile in itself.

Eli Horowitz #

Hi, user. We need to talk.

I think something's gone wrong here. It's probably my fault.

No, really, it's not you... it's me... no no no, I think we get along well

it's just that.... well, I want to see other people. I... what?!? NO! I

haven't been cheating on you!! How many times do you want me to tell you?! And

for the last time, it's just a rash!

Message generated by Pidgin in the event of a segmentation fault #

I want to be buried with a shotgun and a box of shells. Then someday I’ll be the most bad ass zombie ever.

Tony Myers #

rxr: those xorg folks must have too much beer for free

seen in #t2 #